It is officially the season for love and I could not be more in the mood. Valentine’s Day typically makes us think of love notes passed between childhood crushes or fancy date nights with your significant other, but love is not a relationship status; it’s an energy. Just like any other principle of energy or laws of attraction, what we give out is what we attract. Love is the most powerful energy on earth, but can only reach its full potential if you’re radiating it from within you, instead of expecting it to come to you (FYI–expecting it to come to you is not love; that’s ego). In honor of the romantic time of year, here is a wellness routine to radiate love from within and attract an abundance of love to your life any time of year.

1. Wake up slowly and gratefully

Most of us wake up from a beeping (and annoying) alarm clock, already stressed out and thinking about our to-do list. But when we wake up to an immediate release of cortisol and to-do lists, we’re putting our energetic state in a place of lack and focus on what we’re missing instead of what we have. Cultivate love throughout your entire day by allowing your body to wake up slowly and gratefully. Train your body to fall asleep earlier so you can wake up without an alarm (the cortisol of a blaring beeping being the first experience of your day? No thank you), and let the first thing you do that day be giving love, whether it’s hugging your significant other, snuggling your dog, or giving yourself a compliment. The immediate release of oxytocin first thing in the morning will be powerful for the rest of your day. Next, let gratitude be the next step so you can fall more in love with your life: make a list of what you’re grateful for or simply say an internal prayer of thank you to yourself for this amazing life. Living a mindful, intentional morning will help you

2. Eat for pleasure

You already know about aphrodisiacs to boost your libido, but food can be used to increase love for yourself and love in your life beyond just sex drive. The key is to eat for pleasure. But pleasure doesn’t just mean food that tastes good; it also means food that makes you feel good. “Pleasure” means ultimate contentment, so that means eating foods that taste delicious where you enjoy every decadent bite, but also foods that make you feel energetic, satisfied, and alive. Before every meal or snack, think: what food would bring me the most contentment and satisfaction right now? You’ll be surprised at how often your answer is nutritious and plant-filled when asking your body what true pleasure would be. Also, load your plate with magnesium-rich foods like spinach, chocolate, and sweet potatoes which can increase sex drive, and hormone-balancing fats from foods like avocados, chia seeds, and olive oils that will help you feel more balanced.

3. Move your body with feminine energy (yin)

OK this is a new practice for me too, but let me explain. Lately, I’ve been into exercising with the stair master and weight lifting. I feel good afterward, but something just feels off, like I’m not very excited to get to the workout and feel sore all the time. Everything clicked when I recently heard Sahara Rose talk about connecting with our feminine energy, or what she calls goddess energy (cheesy but I’m here for it). To be clear: feminine energy does not mean female or more “feminine” as our society deems it. It is simply referring to one of two energies that are meant to be balanced (the Yin and Yang) in every person, regardless of gender identification. The feminine energy is related to intuition, creativity, nurturing, and loving energy, while masculine energy (or Yang) shows up as strength, rationality, and action. The exercise I had been doing only appealed to activeness and strength, without any nurturing the body or moving with creative freedom. My exercise routine was imbalanced, and therefore, I was fostering less nurturing, creative energy within myself. Rose swears by belly dancing as the ideal exercise to cultivate feminine energy, and while I’m not quite there, I am doing more gentle walks, stretching, and dance to cultivate more loving energy in my body and my life–I swear it’s made a huge difference in how loving I feel toward myself, my boyfriend, my friends, and my family.

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A post shared by Noor Kleinenberg de Groot 🍓 (@queenofjetlags)

4. Develop self-awareness and take ownership of your life

The truth is that “self-love” is not as frilly and intangible as we often think it is or that The Care and Keeping of You taught us it would be. Loving your self is as simple as living as your truest self. That’s it. The Laws of Attraction states that the way you behave or feel about yourself attracts certain energies to you–if you’re insecure, hard on yourself, or don’t feel like enough, you’ll only attract people who think the same about you. Get to know yourself better by getting to know what you are attracting, and get rid of habits, mindsets, or routines that are holding you back from living out your truest life, like a toxic friendship or scrolling through your phone. Also, you love yourself when you realize your own power–when you believe that life happens by you, not to you, you’ll stop feeling powerless and dependent on the opinions of other people. When this power is realized, everything changes–especially the way you think about yourself and relate to the people around y ou.

5. Become more “you”

Like I said before, self-love is really just acting in a way that is true to who you really are. We spend so much of our lives trying to be accepted, prove ourselves to other people, and blend in, that sometimes we stop prioritizing our truest self. Many of us still have the middle-school mentality that if we’re loved by others, then we’ll love ourselves, so we try to fit in or seek acceptance. In reality, we only love ourselves when our actions align with who we really are. Make a list of your qualities, likes, strengths, and passions. Then, become more of that, unapologetically. Get rid of the activities or traits that don’t feel true to you and fill up the empty space with more you-ness. Find out what makes you feel alive, and then do it more often, or pick out your truest personality traits and bring them into work life, relationships, and the time you spend alone. Every work goal, wellness intention, and daily schedule should support becoming more of who you really are.