Secrets to Creating More Synchronicity and Attracting the Life You Want
Call it random, serendipity, or god, but we've all had moments where the universe winks at us (to put it in a toddler-friendly term. Doesn't it just make you smile!?). These "universe winks," or synchronicity, happen all the time in movies: the exact book that the protagonist needs falls from the shelf and hits him in the head or a "meet-cute" proves to be destiny bringing two people together. However, many mundane examples happen in our everyday lives too: you get your dream job as soon as you end a toxic relationship, you get a new car and suddenly see that model everywhere, or you and your best friend show up to the party in the exact same outfit.
Synchronicity is a concept first introduced by analytical psychologist Carl Jung, that states events are "meaningful coincidences." As a Philosophy Major for about one and a half years in college (it didn't last long after I realized the class load was more like debating formal logic than the meaning of life), I've always been a nerd for synchronicity, but only after diving into spiritual practices and reading authors like Gabby Bernstein did the term become an actual method for attracting the life I want.
Sure, it may sound a little woo-hoo, and the word "universe" may just be a scientific term instead of a spiritual guidance for you, but we all want to be guided to make the right decisions in our lives, whether we're looking to guidance from the universe, our god, or destiny. Getting "a sign" while making a tough decision can make a drastic difference in our lives, and synchronicity shows that we subconsciously seek out the signs we need. In many ways, it can be the spiritual secret to success that you won't learn from business coaches or relationship therapists.
Synchronicity can help you manifest the life you want because when you are thinking of something over and over again, you're creating a thought pattern. Thoughts become things, and meaningful coincidences are "hints" to help you achieve a better reality. Here are five secrets to notice and create more synchronicity to attract the life you want:
1. Interpret the "signs" by identifying how you feel about them
If you just got a job offer in a different state and are unsure if it's the right decision for you, you might see two moving trucks on your way home from work and someone on the radio mentions the city where the job offer is. You could see this as signs you should move, or signs that you shouldn't. In order to figure out what the meaningful coincidences are trying to tell you, know yourself well enough to understand your deepest emotions.
If you recognize a meaningful coincidence or interpret a sign, ask yourself how you feel about it. Are you excited? Is there a little voice in your head nagging you to make the change, or a voice nagging you not to out of fear? Do you feel bored or unattached to the situation you're currently in? Be honest with yourself; in the end, you create your reality and you create your signs.
2. Don't expect what you want will just happen
Manifesting the life you want doesn't mean putting up a vision board or writing a mantra on your mirror and hoping for the best (though I am a big fan of both). Put in the work so you're able to attract what you want. Even if you feel destined to get the job, you still have to fill out an application. If you're seeing meaningful coincidences pointed towards your love life, you can't just sit at home expecting the love of your life will knock on your door–go to bars, meet new people, set up a Match.com profile. Also, be wary of becoming attached to certain outcomes. Instead of thinking you know best, believe that you won't always get what you want because there's something better for you.
3 ...But don't control or force
Trying to control or force is a habit. Even if you don't identify as a control freak like I do, you might be indecisive (or need outside opinions before making any decisions), avoid dealing with difficult things, or sweat the small stuff, which all comes from mistrust in the unknown. In the past, I forced relationships that just weren't working because it seemed like the best outcome (maybe we could be happy in the future!).
In my current relationship that I've always known in my heart is working, I used to nitpick my boyfriend (the poor guy) in an attempt to identify what might be a problem in the future. My therapist says this was a way to control a relationship that I was so scared of losing (and Dr. Kelly knows everything). I fell victim to the clichéd too-good-to-be-true mentality. We want to self-diagnose, in an attempt to control the outcome. Here's the truth: in any relationship, job, or life change, anything could go wrong. But you'll be OK even if it does. Listen to universe winks more than you worry about the future.
4. Be still
When's the last time you were still? Admittedly, my personal answer is less admirable and more realistic: not in forever. Meditation has never been my strong suit, and even when I force myself to sit still and do nothing, my mind is still doing the work of a vigorous HIIT class with racing thoughts, to-do lists, and imagination running wild. However, life flows when we are still. The fastest route to success is not through pounding the pavement and long hours that you have to trade sleep for; it's from being still enough to hear how to get on the right path. If we're going too fast, we can miss signs and what they're telling us to do. My mantra these days? Do nothing and let the universe show you what to do.
5. Believe you deserve it (and then make sure you actually do)
I, like every other human being on the planet, was not born with innate self-confidence. With my first health coaching consultations, I was struck with a horrible case of imposter syndrome. I thought, who the hell am I to think I can help change other people's lives? But my motivation was never about money, prestige, or title. I was always lead by a strong desire to heal other women. Because the intentions weren't centered around me, me, me, I started to believe I deserved to become a successful health coach (and I had done the hard work it to achieve it). Good intentions aren't some made up bullsh*t–they're what attract results.
The practice that got me through the self-doubt was visualization. Before every consultation or client session, I still visualize the client achieving their health goals. I visualize them feeling happy and healthy, and I visualize showing up as my highest self and giving clients unconditional love. It's the quickest way to not only believe you're worthy of what you want, but to actually manifest what you want. When you can't find "signs," make your own.
What's an example of a meaningful coincidence you've experienced in your life?
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