How to Know if You've Found your Twin Flame, According to an Expert
Source: @olivecooke
I am potentially the sappiest romantic you will ever meet: my AIM profile was just Titanic quotes (because at 12 years old, I obviously had enough life experience to identify with “I’ll never let go!”), I memorized every word to Taylor Swift’s Red album (and listened to it repeatedly while dramatically staring out the window), and I’ve always believed in soulmates. As I've gotten older, I still hope with all my heart that The Bachelor contestants will find true love, but I've ditched the idea of the "The One" (here's why), and instead have been intrigued by a more spiritual, less cheesy term: twin flame.
Many people assume "twin flame" is the same as a soulmate or romantic life partner, but each of these phrases are completely different. While your twin flame can be a romantic relationship, they can also be platonic. This soul-based connection is not about romance; it's about spiritual growth, which often is the person we choose to spend the most time with (AKA a life partner) but it does not have to be. No matter what your twin flame looks like, it will be the most intense, powerful, and life-changing relationship of your life.
When you meet your twin flame, you see the world differently, and they do too. You shift consciousness and change every relationship, including the one with yourself. The life-changing aspect is not so much what this person physically does, says, or teachers you, but rather just meeting them and "finding" them is like a cosmic spark that helps you to wake up. Intrigued yet? I talked to Cassady Cayne, spiritual author and relationship coach, on what this all means and how to know if we've found the one (like, legit–not just some fairy tale BS!). Here are 10 things that happen when you find your twin flame:
1. Feeling Like You've Known This Person Forever When You've Just Met
Yes, this is probably the most cliché, but I like it because it's very Taylor Swift-esque and my 12-year-old heart can't help but swoon. In reality, this feeling is not the cheesy rom-com stereotype; it's more of an unspoken feeling of homecoming. It's not about comfort, it's about calmness. It's like you have an automatic download of information; an ability to know them without having to spend any time with them at all. You'll get them, and you feel like they get you within the first few minutes of meeting for the first time.
2. Chakra Tingling
Cayne defines chakra tingling as, "experiencing symptoms of energy activation (like heart palpitations) when you are together." When you find your twin flame, your body will physically react, and I don't mean butterflies in your stomach or the hair on the back of your neck stands up. Cayne refers to chakra tingling, because it means a chakra is being healed or stimulated. A lot of healing and work comes just from meeting your twin flame, and physical effects could show up in your body as physical manifestations of becoming your truest self.
3. Magnetism
Magnetism often gets confused with sexual attraction, but the two are not related. When you feel a magnetic pull towards another person, it's not a chemical reaction; it's spiritual. It's your energies seeking to emerge (yes, I am like 40% woo-hoo, if you haven't been able to tell yet), like your body just physically feels pulled to theirs without reason or agenda. Maybe you even feel a sense of relief, like your shoulders relax when they sit down next to you, or their feet are always pointed towards yours, no matter where they're facing.
4. Intense Eye Contact (Naturally)
Important preface: there's a big difference between twin-flame eye contact and are-they-going-to-kidnap-and-murder-me eye contact. I don't mean you stare into each other's eyes for long periods of time (blinking contests have never been fun) and it doesn't have to do with being polite (wasn't keeping eye contact with adults really hard as a kid?). Instead, it's more like you speak to each other through eye contact so fluently that you can communicate with your eyes alone, without feeling uncomfortable or unsure.
5. Your Lives are in Parallel
Why I like the term "twin flame" so much more than "soulmate" is because it doesn't imply that our souls are split in half. Rather, we are whole on our own (duh! #independentwomen). Instead of a half, it's a reflection. Therefore, it's likely that various themes or experiences mirror each other–not just in the serendipitous meeting (like being in the same place at the same time), but in your lives before you met. In fact, you often experience similar childhood trauma, coming of age, or timelines.
6. Seeing Signs Frequently (Especially Before or After Meeting)
Cayne says that seeing signs, like looking at the clock every 11:11, means you are awakening to your eternal soul self. Spirit guides use these signs as triggers to help you remember and identify your twin flame. When we start to see the same thing over and over in random times, like a rainbow, a time on the clock, or a type of bird, it's usually a sign from the universe that we're either on the right path or the wrong one. Your intuition will tell you which one it is.
7. Feeling Like You Are On the "Same Wavelength" More Than Anyone Else
Yes, everybody knows it's important to marry someone who wants the same number of kids, and friendships are always better when you root for the same Real Housewife. However, this sign of a twin flame goes beyond similarities. I like to think of it like only a couple people (maybe even just one) know your language. They're the people you never have to translate to because they understand your language, even when you're not speaking. Cayne explains this is because you have an identical core energy frequency that no one else in the universe shares. Your twin flame is literally the other part of your energy.
8. You Are Not Just Your Best Self; You Are Your Most Self
I don't necessarily believe in the "find someone who brings out the best in you" crap. I'll become my best self on my own, and the person I love loves me at my worst, thank you very much. However, since finding your twin flame awakens you, there's a natural shift towards your better self, but more importantly, you become your truest self. You have more clarity on what you want, who you are, and your purpose. When it comes to your relationship, you know that no matter what you do or say, this person will never misunderstand who you are.
9. Experiencing Intuitive Abilities You Never Had Before
Cayne says, "When Twin Flames reconnect, especially in terms of sex, the two are literally brought back 'online' with their eternal presence. The spiritual consciousness reawakens after having been dormant in their human lives so far." Twin flame aside, I truly believe we all have some kind of intuitive abilities. Some of us are just knowing (for example to make it about myself, my boyfriend just knows things will always be OK. Always. He knew without an ounce of doubt or ego that we would be together, even before I was ever sure). Likewise, some of us can see (either a figure or a flash of light), and some of us can hear (not like horror movie voices, but like you can hear the answer in your head). It only makes sense to me that finding your true flame awakens us to intuition and feeling we never knew we had.
10. Having an Increase in Dream Activity When You Meet
OK, this one is bonkers. According to Cayne, finding your twin flame can ignite dream activity, especially when you first meet. She even says you might realize you've dreamed about this person before you ever met, which sounds wildly fascinating to me (especially because all of my dreams are still about being late on the first day of school). Whether the dreams are about your twin flame or not, your subconscious activity is picking up, which could be seen in an increase of dreams. Now that's some cool sh*t.
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